99 Funny Love Quotes to Spice Up Your Relationship

Hey there, lovebirds and hopeless romantics! Casey Bennett here from Custommatchingcouple LLC. If you're looking for a way to spice up your relationship with a dash of humor, you've come to the right place. We're about to dive into a treasure trove of funny love quotes that'll have you and your sweetheart in stitches. Whether you're planning a wedding, celebrating an anniversary, or just want to make your partner smile, these quotes are your secret weapon for bringing more laughter into your love life.

Let's face it, relationships aren't always a walk in the park. Sometimes they're more like a stumble through a field of LEGO bricks in the dark. But you know what makes even the toughest times better? A good laugh shared with the one you love.

Humor is like the WD-40 of relationships – it helps smooth out the rough patches and keeps things moving smoothly. Plus, it's a lot more fun than couples therapy (and usually cheaper too!).

These funny love quotes aren't just for giggles. They're perfect for sprucing up your wedding vows, adding some zing to your anniversary card, or even embroidering on matching sweatshirts for couples. Use them in a random text to brighten your partner's day or wear them proudly together. Because let's be honest, nothing says "I love you" quite like making your significant other snort-laugh in public while sporting adorably cheesy couple's attire.

1. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." — Will Ferrell

2. "I went home with this French guy 'cause he said something adorable, like, 'I have an apartment.” — Amy Schumer

3. "Being with you has made me so lazy. I love you more than I love napping, and that's saying something."

4. "If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back." — Chelsea Peretti

5. "I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn't really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed." — Dave Attell

6. "You're not Google, but you've got everything I'm searching for, including the weird stuff."

1. "Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing." — Natasha Leggero

2. "Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally

3. "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them." — Bill Maher

4. "Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality." — Miranda on "Sex and the City"

5. "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." — Garry Shandling

6. "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." — Steven Wright

1. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" — Jean Illsley Clarke

2. "Being with you makes me feel like my iPhone battery is always at 100%."

3. "If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love." — Miles Davis

4. "Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." — Jules Renard

5. "A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." — Tim Allen

6. "I can't make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75." — Rob Delaney

1. "I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it."

2. "Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." — Jeff Arch

3. "I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner

4. "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener." — Pauline Thomason

5. "Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly

6. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." — Erma Bombeck

1. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates

2. "I love you even when you're hangry."

3. "Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements." — Kathy Mohnke

4. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." — Charles M. Schulz

5. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin

6. "Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up." — Evelyn Hendrickson

1. "I vow to still grab your butt even when you're old and wrinkly."

2. "An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." — Agatha Christie

3. "You're the only one I want to annoy for the rest of my life."

4. "After marriage, 'Netflix and chill' really just means 'Netflix and actually chill.'"

5. "Love is sharing your popcorn." — Charles Schultz

6. "If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something." — Fran Lebowitz

Hey there, soon-to-be-newlyweds! Thinking about spicing up your vows with a dash of humor? These quotes might just do the trick:

1. "I love you more than I love getting to pick the movie. Just don't push it."

2. "Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly

3. "I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always." — David Young

4. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

5. "Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses." — Thomas Dewar

6. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." — Erma Bombeck

Ah, the blissful early years... when you're still figuring out who hogs the blankets and who's the designated spider-killer. Enjoy these nuggets of newlywed wisdom:

1. "Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say."

2. "Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops."

3. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henry Youngman

4. "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates

5. "I love you even when you eat my fries, and trust me, that's a lot of love."

6. "Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."

For those of you in it for the long haul, here's some humor to keep you going through the decades:

1. "I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it."

2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're wishing for a club and a spade."

3. "My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning." — Ray Romano

4. "Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot." — Minnie Pearl

5. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman

6. "Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you." — Helen Rowland

Who better to give us the lowdown on love than the folks who make us laugh for a living? Here are some hilarious takes on romance from our favorite comedians:

1. "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." — Rita Rudner

2. "My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes." — Emo Philips

3. "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap." — Attributed to various comedians

4. "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." — Richard Jeni

5. "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." — Nora Ephron (from "When Harry Met Sally")

6. "I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Paul Reiser

7. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." — Henny Youngman

8. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." — Anne Bancroft

9. "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." — Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump

10. "Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there." — George Burns

Turns out, even the most glamorous stars have a funny take on love. Check out these quotes from the silver screen's finest:

1. "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." ― Sharon Stone

2. "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." — Henry Youngman

3. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." — Shirley MacLaine

4. "A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." — Cher

5. "I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies." — Mindy Kaling

6. "You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps." — Roseanne Barr

7. "I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times." — Elizabeth Taylor

8. "It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes." — Lucille Ball

9. "A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true." — Steve Martin as Harris Telemacher in "L.A. Story"

10. "Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." — Phyllis Diller

From rockstars to sports icons, here are some unexpectedly funny takes on love from various celebrities:

1. "If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love." — Miles Davis

2. "Love is the same as like except you feel sexier." — Judith Viorst

3. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." — Chris Rock

4. "Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome." — Jerry Seinfeld

5. "The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle

6. "Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." — Jules Renard

7. "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" — Lily Tomlin

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all roses and chocolates. Spice it up with these humorous quips:

1. "I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger." — Unknown

2. "I love you more than pizza, and I really love pizza." — Unknown

3. "Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone." — Lewis Black

4. "I'm not saying I love you, but I definitely wouldn't mind if you were eaten last in a zombie apocalypse." — Unknown

5. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not that romantic, but I do kind of like you." — Unknown

6. "I love you more than I hate everyone else." — Unknown

Celebrate another year together with these witty observations:

1. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman

2. "I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really got on my nerves." — Unknown

3. "An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow." — Unknown

4. "Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park." — Unknown

5. "We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love." — Robert Fulghum

6. "Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."

Because who says you need a special occasion to laugh about love?

1. "I love you even when you're hangry."

2. "Being with you is like having every day be throwback Thursday."

3. "You're my favorite notification, except for the pizza delivery ones."

4. "Our love is like a good pun - it makes everyone groan but us."

5. "If our love was a sports game, we'd be in overtime every day."

6. "You're like my asthma. You just take my breath away. Literally."

If you're reading this, you've made it through our whirlwind tour of love and laughter! We've giggled, we've grinned, and let's be honest, we've probably snort-laughed a few times too. But that's what makes love so great, right? A relationship without humor is like trying to eat spaghetti without a fork - you could do it, but it's way more fun (and less messy) with the right tools. So keep those jokes coming, lovebirds. After all, laughter is the secret sauce that keeps relationships spicy and sweet!

These funny love quotes remind us that love isn't always about grand gestures and poetic declarations. Sometimes, it's about finding someone who laughs at your bad jokes, doesn't judge you for eating ice cream for breakfast, and still finds you cute even when you're sporting a face mask and your ratty old sweatpants.

And hey, if you're planning a wedding, anniversary celebration, or just want to up your romance game, why not use some of these quotes to add a little humor to your special day? Trust me, your guests (and your partner) will thank you for the laughs.

Remember, at Custommatchingcouple LLC, we believe that the couple that laughs together, stays together. And what better way to show off your shared sense of humor than with our His and Hers Hoodies & Sweatshirts? Order now, and remember: in the game of love, it's not about winning or losing, it's about how adorably corny you look playing it!

Until next time, this is Casey Bennett, signing off and wishing you all a love life full of giggles, guffaws, and happily ever afters!